Miracles exist.

God is working in me.

I can already see the changes.

Prayer is a blessing.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

My biggest PROBLEM

There's one thing that's always been bothering me about myself. Why is it so hard for me to have close friends?

It's really hard for me to get close and stay close with people. I start to distance myself from them because I don't like the feeling of attachment. I get annoyed very easily and feel like I annoy them when in reality, all we're trying to do is keep in touch and try to strengthen our bond as friends. I've only been able to stay close friends with 6 people throughout my lifetime: Shaheen, Sam Chen, Brendon, Amos, Andrew, and Anderson. I feel that the reason I am able to stay close friends with them is that I am attending a college that keeps me distant from them. This fear of attachment worries me when it comes to the future because I know I will have a hard time dealing with relationships which is mainly the reason why I try to avoid getting into relationships at all costs.

Over time, instead of thinking of "why" it was so hard for me to make close friends, I should have been asking myself, what's wrong with attachment.

I pray that God will work through me and help me as I struggle through this. I know He won't fail as long as I keep believing ;]

Fading Out

I finally feel like I've come to a point in life where everything is flowing really well. I feel like I'm on top of everything, yet I know there's something missing. What's worse is that I know what that something is. It's not family, nor friends that I'm missing. It's not a girlfriend or a best friend that I'm missing. It's God. My priorities have changed into something that I feel comfortable with. I'm on the wrong path.

But you know what. This is something I can CHANGE. and I WILL.

But not alone.. for God is with me :]

and HE has put awesome people in my life to help me to the cross daily.

that is what I believe.

Life in a Bubble.

Things are tough. This year is so much more different and more difficult to deal with than my freshmen year and I don't know why. Being a sophomore, I am the commander of the freshmen kids and taking care of them has been such a blessing. I always tend to have an easy time getting along with people and pleasing them, but when it comes to me, I don't know how to deal with certain things. I wish pleasing myself would be as easy for me as it is for me to please others. I have the hardest times coming out of a slump nowadays that it bugs me like crazy. Usually I'm able to brush it off but after meeting all these different people with different perspectives on life, I feel like I've slowly begun to change into a different Sam. It should be alright though. I just have to constantly believe that God is with me always (which honestly, I am having trouble with). My burning passion for God from last year is gradually diminishing. I guess I just wish there were people to constantly nudge me in the right direction. I guess I just miss having Joe Choe always nudge me in the right direction. I guess I just gotta start learning to be independent and step up my self motivation. Life's tough.

home>residential halls

these feelings of comfort, ease, happiness, blessing, love.
this is what I've been missing during my past few months of college.
home sweet home. it truly is.
my safe haven. my shelter. my favorite hiding place.

my family I've missed.
the friends i left behind.
my precious dog, so grown now.

Thank you God.
I am slowly getting to know you through QT.
and I wish to gradually start believing that you truly are
my Father. my Best friend. =]

break me. mold me.
constantly test me.
i will be steadfast & ready.

with accountability,
we will not fail.

Self-Evaluation

I'm maturing.
I can See it. I can Feel it.
I'm realizing.
How blind I've been. How stubborn I was.
I'm changing.
My eyes are open. My lifestyle is different.

And I Like It. Alot.

From here on out.
I live.
with the realization that God is guiding me.
and this is the foundation on which my life will be structured.